Love is queer. It will pull you into its arena in ways you have no control on and yet, it will blame you for failing to restrain your desires. I often wonder if I should turn to hate. But then again, hate will keep you in my heart forever. They say it right – hate is stronger than love. Because it’s born of love, they never mention. Love is weaker. It’s vulnerable. It’s outdated. It knows only weighty words such as passion, embrace, soul, eternity and forever.
And hate? It’s contemporary. It owns a sturdy facade – made of rage, abuse and grudges. It looks wicked. It feels strong. It doesn’t refrain from profanity. It doesn’t pull you back. It pushes you forward. It makes you mouth your emotions – vivid and raw. But behind that facade, all it hides is love. And that’s why I don’t want to hate you. It will make me love you more. It will turn my wound into a scar. What else can a burning fire do?
I’d better remain weak. I’d better let my heart love you…as long as it can…as long as it is capable of. And one fine morning, I’ll wake up, look out the window and embrace the soft touch of wind against my cheeks. And while I’ll begin to smile at dawn, I’ll realize it has taken you away. Not from me though. For you were never mine.
Yes, love is queer. But I’ll love you…
Written by Chirasree Bose